Archive for February, 2011


Gold diggers…

http://s1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb413/gjhaynes2315/?action=view&current=Video17.mp4

The video I’m sharing with you all here is just a random moment spent with some friends in the Caf at Fordham’s Lincoln Center campus. As I bitterly rewatched some of the videos  that I’ve collected cursing my serious boredom and disdain for my inability to sleep (I have a very annoying case of insomnia), I stumbled upon this video whose ending brought something to my attention…I hate gold digging females…

“Woman are like buses…you have to pay for them to ride them.” YEEES YES, I know, the joke was made in poor taste and that doesn’t really express my mentality toward girls, just a bro moment people…nothing more. But it does bring to mind an interesting idea. There really are some girls that have that mentality. “Your money will be spent if you’re gonna be with me.” I’m not talking about working your way into women’s draws gentlemen out there, I’m just talking about girls who legit think that my money, is their money OR that my money will inevitably be their money…WRONG **INSERT EXPLETIVE HERE THAT IS EQUIVALENT TO “FEMALE DOG”**.

Tell me why I went out on a date with a girl recently and lo and behold, she brought a friend. A young boy by the name of Dyquan….HER SON. OK…so…needless to say, I was a little thrown off, but hey, I’m a nice guy…and it had been a while…a long while…So I decided, what the hell, we’d all hang together. It’s the least I can do since homegirl doesn’t know who Dyquan’s father is….sorry…cheapshot. Anyway, I planned to take them to the movies…She had other plans….By the time I looked around, I found myself in a Sears at King’s Plaza Mall. We spent at least 4 hours, shopping for clothes for the boy. (Who, by the way, tied my sneakers together when I fell asleep on a nearby couch in the store and caused me to have a very nasty fall…I know in 17 years, he’ll be in prison….Delinquent…) We finally get to the register and the woman behind it says, “Ok, you’re total is $489.78. Do you have a Sears card?” My date responded, “No.” At this point young Delinquent Dy-Dy begin to complain about something regarding urine and apple juice, so his mother turned to me and said the following: “Ima take Dy-Dy to da baffroom. You gonna take care of this?” I snapped out of my lack of interest at this point and said, “Take care of what?” And she said matter of factly, “Uh… the bill. You fuckin’ payin’ attention?” I responded, “No…I tuned out when you decided to bring your son, who you mentioned nothing about prior to about 5 hours ago, to our first date.” She of course answered, “Listen, nigga, I ain’t got time for this, just pay the bill so we can be on our way.” My mouth literally dropped. She wanted ME to pay the bill! Damn-near $500 worth of random shit from Sears. First of all, who the hell spends fuckin’ $500 on clothes at Sears anymore? Bitch, you better hit a thrift store real quick! Secondly, and most importantly, I didn’t even know her like that. And I surely didn’t give a rat’s ass about her son. Needless to say, I decided to let the asshole within shine through. “Listen, I’ve had about enough of this shitshow of a date. No way you’re gonna stick me with the bill when I barely know your ass and I know your dipstick son here even less. I’m out.” I began to walk away. She began to yell….”Whatchu mean you don’t know me!? We been talkin Greg, I know you.” I turned around, and shouted back, “What’s my last name?” She responded with a smile, “Harris!” I responded with a middle finger because it’s “Haynes” and that was the end of that, I booked it out of that store for fear that my middle finger would cause her to pull out a weapon and went home….Sooo the point of that long story was that I’m starting a list called Things Hazy Hates…first on the list….Gold digging female dogs…

Just to make this a lil more interesting…I picked a song from youtube that I think we’re all familiar with that goes perfectly with this story…Enjoy…

http://s1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb413/gjhaynes2315/?action=view&current=VID00566.mp4

Yea…the other day I was the at my local health center to find out who my father really is….Well, not exactly. I was actually there to get medically cleared to start an internship at Jamaica Hospital. (That would be job #3 that I will be balancing this semester. Hooray for me -_-.) It just so happened that this random bumesque guy (he didn’t really look like a bum, he was really just a little loco. But I will say that it’s a good thing Flip HD cameras don’t pick up scent in HD….Ma dude smelt like roast horse fecal matter. You feel me?) decided to show up at the health center and entertain as I waited an unreasonable time for my doctor to show up. Check out the video and then procede to the next paragraph where I will actually get serious for once…

On a serious note, it is a common occurrence that we find crazy people on the train, streets, or wherever we may find them slightly entertaining, if not funny. When I think about myself in that regard, I often find that my initial reaction is to find humor in the situation. My question to my classmates and any browsers who may come across this site (see how I’m hooking my fellow Sociology of Media classmates up with an easy way to post on my blog…yea…you’re very welcome) is why is it that the mental state of those who clearly need help is so often overlooked by “normal” functioning members of society? The crazies, as we might refer to them as, are often the source of jokes and not necessarily taken seriously. As I admitted, even I’m guilty of it, so don’t be afraid to admit the same. Feel free to sound off bloggers and blogettes.

http://s1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb413/gjhaynes2315/?action=view&current=VID00528.mp4

Sooooo… it’s been a hell of a long time since I made a post on this here blog and for that you all have my sincerest apologies, it’s been a rough couple of weeks. Hopefully for the sake of this blog and my friggen grade, I can stick around. OK, let’s get down to business. The video I’m posting here gives you a little glance at the ray of sunshine that is Hazy. In this segment of Getting to Know Hazy, you will be given the extraordinary privelege of getting to see what I do at work. Unfortunately, the video highlights only a brief instance of my work experiences due to the fact that I have a bunch of pain in the ass managers. (Yes managers if you see this, I really did just call you pains in the perverbial ass. Why you ask? Well honestly…1. It’s because it’s true. Momma always says to tell the truth so that is what I is gonna do suckas. 2. It’s because I got scheduled for 15 hours this week which ain’t gonna pay the bills. And what if I had child support to pay like many young black males do? Uh newsflash managers….15 hours aint enough to buy young Tayshaun new Jordans!!) SORRY about that. Anyway. Here’s the deal, apparently I joke around a little too much at my place of employment so my video is relatively short, but I hope to show you guys more stuff from work in time. For now, enjoy.

So… this whole blog thing is homework for a class, hopefully I can make the best of it. I’m Greg, you all can call me Hazy. Now, I often get a lot shit from people about being called “Hazy”. Yes…my nickname really IS “Hazy”, but it has NOTHING TO DO WITH SMOKING MARIJUANA. I don’t smoke, which may be surprising to those of you who may know that I’m Jamaican…and black…and from the hood….and black…well…I guess now you all know….yeah… Anyway, my last name is Haynes, so “Hazy” was just a play on the name as a kid. Get it??? There ya go…theeere ya go.

Now, let me get to the good stuff aka the whole deal with this blog. On occasion, I’m slightly retarded which often happens to trigger laugher. I like making a fool of myself and making people smile so this blog is going to be about what I do to entertain myself and others as well as what some people in my life do to entertain themselves and others. (For those of you with dirty minds thinking about the whole “entertain myself thing”…you’re nasty AAAND grow the fuck up.) So…without further ado, let the randomness and stupidity on SmileJinzo begin…