Hello world (particularly my fellow classmates), as you all should know unless you got stupid drunk and totally blacked out, this past Thursday was St. Patty’s Day!!! Yay Leprechauns…and pots of gold…and alcohol….and potatoes…yea!! So few of you may know that I am actually part Irish (seriously no joke). My dear late  grandpapa  who I had never met on my wretched father’s side (yes father, you are indeed a wretch), was half or part Irish or something like that. Regardless of how Irish he was, I do consider myself to be Irish and I celebrate accordingly on St. Patrick’s Day.

On Thursday I was decked out in some green kicks and a green shirt repping Ireland hardbody. I decided it would be interesting to see how different Irish people out celebrating would react to the idea of a black Irishman. So…I went to the best place to briefly interview Irish people on St. Patrick’s Day….a bar. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the answers on camera because I, being the smart guy that I am, forgot my camera. Luckily I was able to jot down some quick responses and get the first names of my drunk respondants. Before I start with the lovely quotes that I heard, I’ll say that I said this same phrase each time I approached a person. “Hey, whats up? What if I told you that I’m Irish?”

Person 1: Frenkalime….DRUNKEN TRANSLATION: Franklin

“Wait…I’m Irish and you’re black. But if YOU’RE Irish….then I must be BLACK! YEAHHHH”….[At this point, we shared a shot…I drank mine…he missed his mouth completely.]

Person 2: Katelyn

“Huh?” [I repeated my above mentioned quote]…Seriously!? Dude that’s like so cool. You’re like the Chinese Irish guys on those Starburst commercials…except you know like…you’re bla—…I mean African. African-American I mean. That’s what I should say. But yea…. Starburst… [Here is a link to a commercial to which she is referring http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k4iZqbDsMs]

Person 3: Guy who’s name I could not decipher even with my bilingualism in English and Shitfacelish…so I’ll just call him Seamus O’Connell.

“Ay…you can only be one!! One! You-did-can’t-say-mine cuz BLACK. Irish people love to have the red hair on top of they head. But YOU Du-rag and shit. FUCK it. Bitch with black it ok? I AM IRISH FOREVER!!!”…[After this clear waste of my time, I asked him to buy me a drink to which his drunken ass obliged. Patron margaritas are quite tasty…especially when you don’t pay for them…]

Person 4: Panther… [He thought he was clever calling himself Panther…refering to my African American heritage and my CLEAR connection to the Black Panther activist group…Yea…don’t you just love clever people?]

“HAHAHAHA!!! Get it? Panther because you are a black panther. HAHAHA!!!” [His friends joined him in laughter.] “So you’re black and Irish….so you’re like Blirish or NO NO…you’re Irack…You know like IRAQ the country. HAHAHAHAHAHAH! OK ok…so you’re black and Irish, so what do you like to do? Eat fried chicken AND potatoes!!!”…[Not funny Panther…not funny at all. Didn’t know it was possible for people to get less funny as they get more drunk…learn something new everyday…]

Person 5: Jesse (she was a girl)

“I should totally teach you how to be Irish, so you can teach me how to be a rapper. Like fuckin’ Lil Wayne and shit. Can you?” [My response you ask??? No…]

So that was the ridiculous response to my inner Irishman…interesting huh? Gotta say though, my friends and I got a preety good laugh out of that…Made some lifelong friends too…