Yes yes, I know it’s May, but I promise that this is the last portion of the April Fool’s Series.  What can I say? I’m a master procrastinator, its what I do best. This did take place on April 1st night but I’m not gonna lie, I put the blog biz on the backburner. Anywayz… let’s get down to business.

So the night of April Fool’s Day when I was staying at my co-worker’s house with a couple of my other co-workers, I played a lil prankity prank on my co-worker who was on that ill CPT (Colored People Time) and was o.d. late. Anyway, when she FINALLY arrived, I noticed that her car’s right rearview mirror was missing. It was at this point that the mastermind within was released.

It just so happened that we had some barbeque sauce from the chicken and pizza we ordered so I quickly snagged a good amount of that bad boy and ran outside as my homegirl was parking. As she pulled up to a parking space, I snuck passed parked cars and came up along her right side so that she couldn’t see me. I came up next to her right side rear and hit the trunk as hard as I possibly could as she was reversing and fell to the ground a. I heard one of the loudest screams that I’ve ever heard which went to the tune of something like this….OK…maybe I’m exaggerating just a bit, but still it was a gut wretching scream, I had to fight to keep my laughter in… As I lay there, I quickly opened the buffalo sauces and spilled then on the ground next to where my head would eventually lay so that at night time, it would look a bit like blood. (Yes, I know what you’re thinking and you’re right…I AM that much of a jerk.) I dipped my fingers in it too so that she could see the blood on my hands glistening under the NYC streetlamp (oh what a great line of imagery…I should paid to write lines like that…any takers????).

I lay there for a good while and listened to my homegirl’s hyperventilation (whoaaaa, college vocab alert!!! hands down the biggest word I’ve used all semester…for the vocabularily challenged, that means “heavy breathing”) steadily increase. Then I heard her start to mutter louding, “Oh ma God, Oh ma God. Fuck, fuck, fucking fuckington…” (“Wait til she realizes that it was her friend that she hit,” is what I was thinking.) She got out of the car mumbling something that I couldnt understand and came to my body, I tried to hold myself from laughing on the ground. I guess she came to my body (my eyes were closed) but I heard her shout, “NO!!! Greg!?!?!?!?….GREG!!!” She got down on her knees and came close to my face. I opened my eyes and turned my head slowly answering, “Yeeeesss????” the creepiest way I possibly could. Then followed with a smile. The look on her face was priceless, and a barrage of damaging punches to my body ensued…Injuries aside…the prank was well worth the trouble.