It’s been a while since I’ve posted about something that I hate. This was supposed to be a series, not just a one post thing. But what can I say, its been a good few months…nothing to really hate…UNTIL NOW…I kinda hate ponytails. I know, I know…its not fair yea, maybe not, but its perfectly warranted.

SO I’m on the train, doing my New York City kid thing. Ipod on, lookin fly, waitin to get to my destination…I’m standing holding on to a poll just surveying the car and lo and behold I gazed upon a stunning beauty sitting down doing her New York sexy black chick thing. Ipod on, weave in tact (just kidding just kidding…it was real…I think…), sexy body, preety face, lookin scrumdiddlyumptious….My mouth almost dropped open but I was like na, aint no way I could bag a girl like that. I almost turned away but before I did, our eyes met, and she smiled. Word??? She smiled??? She sure did…that right there is an invitation. I gathered up my loins and got ready to scoop…

Right when I was about to, a lady standing near me intervened. This quite attractive lady had an obnoxious and overly long ponytail. For some odd reason she decided that this would be the PERFECT time to swing her head around as quickily as she could. And of course her ponytail followed like a whip…For NO intents and purposes, she whipped her hair back and forth (shouts to Willow Smith you talented little elf you). The result is that that behemoth of a ponytail whipped me in the eyes and effectively blinded me. The results you ask? Well let me break it down for you:

1. I let out an aggravated scream that sounded like, “Aahhhahrgharrr”

2. I was visually crippled for at least 1-10 mins

3. When I did get some vision back, I saw through watery eyes that Sexy Black Chick with a Nice Smile was gone…she apparently got off at the next train stop.

4. The crazy ponytail lady was looking at me as if I was crazy. Me!? Nooo…youuu’re crazy for having a long ass ponytail that hurts people. No one has been whipped like I had since Harriet Tubman was swiping Metrocards in the Underground Railroad…

5. I went to my internship at Jamaica Hospital, with red eyes and continuing to laugh at the stupidest things the kids I work with did…Long story short, one of my co-workers asked me if I was high, and many people gave me strange looks…

So in conclusion, I’d like to say thank you, bitch ass ponytail for ruining my chances with a hot girl and making me look like a pothead…but…I get the last laugh ponytails. You know why? Because at the end of the day, you make the back of a woman’s head look like a horse’s ass…

can you tell the difference?

hmmmmm???
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