Category: Uncategorized


Farewell…

So as most of you know, this was mainly a school project, although available for the world to see it they care that much. So straight to the point, this post is my last post here on this iteration of SmileJinzo.  To be honest, I did get to put a lot of effort into this blog and I didn’t really get to enjoy it cuz I saw it mostly as pain in the ass homework assignment. I tried to have fun but with the stress of the semester, just wasn’t gonna happen. So I will not be posting anymore on this here WordPress catastrophe. I also gotta admit that I felt restricted by the fact that this was technically an academic assignment. I couldn’t be the uncensored, vulgar, and sometimes offensive jokester that I really am. Maybe the word “couldnt” is a bit inaccurate…It’s not that I couldn’t, its more that I felt that I shouldn’t. Morals you say? No not really. More that I can get really crazy and I wasn’t sure that my university would permit it if they somehow found out from some snitching, overly sensitive student.

Wait… you did say “this iteration”? Wth do you mean you handsome man? Well let me divulge some tentative information…I do plan on starting a blog or website that in some capacity features comedy sketchs, posts, and/or standup. I had this plan before this blog was born. So I will be back in the viral atmosphere, just not here. So goodbye, farewell, thank you for putting up with my retarded humor and by all means….keep smiling.

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*Ahem* Chocolate Vaginas…

On a random note (as if everything on this blog isn’t random), I stumbled upon a great discovery one day as I left Soc of Media and arrived at the plaza. There was a table promoting a little something called “The Vagina Monologues.” First off, let me just say that I had no idea what that is…only that it has to do with vaginas and therefore females. (I know know that it focuses on female empowerment with  the vagina as a segway into that theme…see that world…I can be smart….shoutz to ma Wikipedia editors for making that happen…) A few things came to my mind that stemmed from my lack of understanding for this monologue for vaginas so bare with me…1. Why are there no penis monologues, I’m sure if vaginas got something the say, penises sure do too….2. Vagina Monologues…implies that vaginas can talk…what if they could? They would be some bitches I’d tell you that much…3…What are they selling??

It is this last question that caught my intrigue and ultimately my support regardless of what the Vagina Monologues were. They selling…and I kid you not…chocolate vaginas…Vaginas…made of chocolate….Chocolate…shaped like vaginas. I’m sorry but how fucking cool is that!?!? Essentially…this wonderous discovery took up a good portion of my day, here’s a video clip of some of that time taken…

http://s1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb413/gjhaynes2315/?action=view&current=VID00691.mp4

Hello world (particularly my fellow classmates), as you all should know unless you got stupid drunk and totally blacked out, this past Thursday was St. Patty’s Day!!! Yay Leprechauns…and pots of gold…and alcohol….and potatoes…yea!! So few of you may know that I am actually part Irish (seriously no joke). My dear late  grandpapa  who I had never met on my wretched father’s side (yes father, you are indeed a wretch), was half or part Irish or something like that. Regardless of how Irish he was, I do consider myself to be Irish and I celebrate accordingly on St. Patrick’s Day.

On Thursday I was decked out in some green kicks and a green shirt repping Ireland hardbody. I decided it would be interesting to see how different Irish people out celebrating would react to the idea of a black Irishman. So…I went to the best place to briefly interview Irish people on St. Patrick’s Day….a bar. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the answers on camera because I, being the smart guy that I am, forgot my camera. Luckily I was able to jot down some quick responses and get the first names of my drunk respondants. Before I start with the lovely quotes that I heard, I’ll say that I said this same phrase each time I approached a person. “Hey, whats up? What if I told you that I’m Irish?”

Person 1: Frenkalime….DRUNKEN TRANSLATION: Franklin

“Wait…I’m Irish and you’re black. But if YOU’RE Irish….then I must be BLACK! YEAHHHH”….[At this point, we shared a shot…I drank mine…he missed his mouth completely.]

Person 2: Katelyn

“Huh?” [I repeated my above mentioned quote]…Seriously!? Dude that’s like so cool. You’re like the Chinese Irish guys on those Starburst commercials…except you know like…you’re bla—…I mean African. African-American I mean. That’s what I should say. But yea…. Starburst… [Here is a link to a commercial to which she is referring http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k4iZqbDsMs]

Person 3: Guy who’s name I could not decipher even with my bilingualism in English and Shitfacelish…so I’ll just call him Seamus O’Connell.

“Ay…you can only be one!! One! You-did-can’t-say-mine cuz BLACK. Irish people love to have the red hair on top of they head. But YOU Du-rag and shit. FUCK it. Bitch with black it ok? I AM IRISH FOREVER!!!”…[After this clear waste of my time, I asked him to buy me a drink to which his drunken ass obliged. Patron margaritas are quite tasty…especially when you don’t pay for them…]

Person 4: Panther… [He thought he was clever calling himself Panther…refering to my African American heritage and my CLEAR connection to the Black Panther activist group…Yea…don’t you just love clever people?]

“HAHAHAHA!!! Get it? Panther because you are a black panther. HAHAHA!!!” [His friends joined him in laughter.] “So you’re black and Irish….so you’re like Blirish or NO NO…you’re Irack…You know like IRAQ the country. HAHAHAHAHAHAH! OK ok…so you’re black and Irish, so what do you like to do? Eat fried chicken AND potatoes!!!”…[Not funny Panther…not funny at all. Didn’t know it was possible for people to get less funny as they get more drunk…learn something new everyday…]

Person 5: Jesse (she was a girl)

“I should totally teach you how to be Irish, so you can teach me how to be a rapper. Like fuckin’ Lil Wayne and shit. Can you?” [My response you ask??? No…]

So that was the ridiculous response to my inner Irishman…interesting huh? Gotta say though, my friends and I got a preety good laugh out of that…Made some lifelong friends too…

Random Health Center Bum

http://s1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb413/gjhaynes2315/?action=view&current=VID00566.mp4

Yea…the other day I was the at my local health center to find out who my father really is….Well, not exactly. I was actually there to get medically cleared to start an internship at Jamaica Hospital. (That would be job #3 that I will be balancing this semester. Hooray for me -_-.) It just so happened that this random bumesque guy (he didn’t really look like a bum, he was really just a little loco. But I will say that it’s a good thing Flip HD cameras don’t pick up scent in HD….Ma dude smelt like roast horse fecal matter. You feel me?) decided to show up at the health center and entertain as I waited an unreasonable time for my doctor to show up. Check out the video and then procede to the next paragraph where I will actually get serious for once…

On a serious note, it is a common occurrence that we find crazy people on the train, streets, or wherever we may find them slightly entertaining, if not funny. When I think about myself in that regard, I often find that my initial reaction is to find humor in the situation. My question to my classmates and any browsers who may come across this site (see how I’m hooking my fellow Sociology of Media classmates up with an easy way to post on my blog…yea…you’re very welcome) is why is it that the mental state of those who clearly need help is so often overlooked by “normal” functioning members of society? The crazies, as we might refer to them as, are often the source of jokes and not necessarily taken seriously. As I admitted, even I’m guilty of it, so don’t be afraid to admit the same. Feel free to sound off bloggers and blogettes.

http://s1204.photobucket.com/albums/bb413/gjhaynes2315/?action=view&current=VID00528.mp4

Sooooo… it’s been a hell of a long time since I made a post on this here blog and for that you all have my sincerest apologies, it’s been a rough couple of weeks. Hopefully for the sake of this blog and my friggen grade, I can stick around. OK, let’s get down to business. The video I’m posting here gives you a little glance at the ray of sunshine that is Hazy. In this segment of Getting to Know Hazy, you will be given the extraordinary privelege of getting to see what I do at work. Unfortunately, the video highlights only a brief instance of my work experiences due to the fact that I have a bunch of pain in the ass managers. (Yes managers if you see this, I really did just call you pains in the perverbial ass. Why you ask? Well honestly…1. It’s because it’s true. Momma always says to tell the truth so that is what I is gonna do suckas. 2. It’s because I got scheduled for 15 hours this week which ain’t gonna pay the bills. And what if I had child support to pay like many young black males do? Uh newsflash managers….15 hours aint enough to buy young Tayshaun new Jordans!!) SORRY about that. Anyway. Here’s the deal, apparently I joke around a little too much at my place of employment so my video is relatively short, but I hope to show you guys more stuff from work in time. For now, enjoy.

So… this whole blog thing is homework for a class, hopefully I can make the best of it. I’m Greg, you all can call me Hazy. Now, I often get a lot shit from people about being called “Hazy”. Yes…my nickname really IS “Hazy”, but it has NOTHING TO DO WITH SMOKING MARIJUANA. I don’t smoke, which may be surprising to those of you who may know that I’m Jamaican…and black…and from the hood….and black…well…I guess now you all know….yeah… Anyway, my last name is Haynes, so “Hazy” was just a play on the name as a kid. Get it??? There ya go…theeere ya go.

Now, let me get to the good stuff aka the whole deal with this blog. On occasion, I’m slightly retarded which often happens to trigger laugher. I like making a fool of myself and making people smile so this blog is going to be about what I do to entertain myself and others as well as what some people in my life do to entertain themselves and others. (For those of you with dirty minds thinking about the whole “entertain myself thing”…you’re nasty AAAND grow the fuck up.) So…without further ado, let the randomness and stupidity on SmileJinzo begin…